Chad, Danette, Carly, Sam, Annie and Eli: 11-18-2013

Eli Holt McLane

11/18/2013
8 lbs. 3 oz.
20 inches
Born at 9:55 am

(For records sake, who knows when I'll get a chance to write this down in my actual journal. Skip to the pictures if your not up for a lot of reading)

My plans for the day were to shop for Chad's birthday. My plans were changed....

I woke up around 6:00 am because of course I was super uncomfortable. I was on the couch, I got up to pee and then lied back down. I felt a little pop from inside of me and I remembered hearing that could mean my water broke. I panicked for about 2 seconds and then got up to go to the bathroom. Nothing came out so I wrote it off and decided to just get up for good. It was 6:30am when I felt a pretty good contraction but not much more painful than the contractions I'd been having for weeks before. We had planned on taking the kids to school but Carly was already out of bed and 5 minutes later Sam popped out of his room all dressed and ready to go (which never happens!) We figured since they're all ready they'd be able to ride the bus. I kept getting contractions but they were sporadic. Some would be 2 minutes apart and others would be 5. They were still manageable. I still made lunch for the kids. I just paused when a contraction came and then finished what I was doing when it ended. The kids got on the bus at 7:30am. Chad called his mom (not sure exactly what time whether before the kids left or after) Annie was still in bed so I got dressed. This whole time I was having contractions but I wasn't too worried because in my mind I thought they would be so painful. Chad's mom showed up to our house in record time. (A HUGE shout out to my Mother-in-law. She was such a great help Monday and Tuesday. I knew my other kids were in great hands and I didn't have to worry once! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!) I was still debating on whether or not it was the right time to head to the hospital. Once his mom showed I actually went about 10 minutes with no contractions so that really had me questioning. I didn't want it to be a false alarm. Then, i had once contraction that had me worried and within minutes Chad and I were off to the hospital and Annie was helping Mimi feed the cows. Once in the car my contraction really sped up coming every 3 minutes (roughly) They were definitely more intense and at one point I felt like he was going to push his way out!

Of course, it was a Monday morning so of course there was lovely traffic. Luckily my husband had guts (or he was super nervous) he flipped on the emergency lights and rode in the emergency lane. The whole time there I was breathing through contractions, trying to relax in between, praying that everything would turn out ok. WE pulled up to the hospital doors and I sat up to get out and Voila! my water broke. It wasn't a gush but it definitely was my water. Chad got me a wheelchair and wheeled me in. Once in the exam room they wanted me to change into a gown when all of a sudden the floor was wet. My water had officially broken. It was just lovely. Almost immediately the contractions got super intense. They checked me to see how far along I was. I was honestly expecting to be dilated to a 5 but no....I heard the numbers 8-9 and I was in shock!! They immediately wheeled me out into the delivery room. I don't remember much other than I was getting super annoyed with some of the nurses. They were super nice and helpful but they kept asking me questions for their stupid paperwork. All I kept thinking was "HELLO! I'm having a baby here!" They kept going back and forth about if it was too late for an epidural. I figure they were just trying to find a nice way to say it was too late. I finally told them if I was going to be ready to deliver soon then I'd go without one. So, they scratched the epidural idea. I couldn't believe it myself. Was I really going to do this? Could I do this? I admit, throughout this whole pregnancy I toyed with the idea of epidural free. I read up on the hypnobirthing and the whole time I kept telling myself that I could do it. So, deep down inside I was hoping for this exact scenario. That I would arrive too late for an epidural, I know that I'm not strong enough to turn one down unless I had no choice.

Anyway....After about an hour of labor (seemed like eternity!) And a lot of arguing with the nurses, telling them I had to push, that I basically couldn't stop my body from pushing my doctor walked in and said it was time to have the baby. I was so relieved and yet scared at the same time. I tried to not be scared because I knew that would make the pain worse. To spare you details (I'll save those for my actual journal) Let's just say that I don't think Chad has ever heard me scream so loud since he's known me. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever heard myself scream so loud.

Everything was such a blur, I honestly don't remember much of the seconds after he was born. All I remember was laying there, staring at the ceiling, catching my breath and thinking "Did I really just do this?"

I was able to having skin to skin time with him for over an hour before he was measured and weighed and all of that stuff. I loved it! I also loved the fact that I wasn't numb. I could move my legs, I could get up and get cleaned off and hour after having him. THAT was nice!

This next part may be TMI for some of you. After I got up out of bed and cleaned up, clean sheets on the bed I was able to get back in bed to relax and enjoy the moment. Almost immediately I was hit a contraction. I remember after birth contraction but they were nothing like this. We joked that there was a twin in there. About 3 minutes later I was hit with another. I got super nauseous and very lightheaded, I felt like I was going to faint. I told Chad to go get someone. The nurse came in and immediately I saw the look on her face and new something was not ok. Everything again was a huge blur. I remember them rushing get an IV in. Someone gave me a shot in my leg and another nurse was pushing on my stomach. All the while I was trying not to faint or puke. I sort of just zoned out. Chad later said I was so pale. My blood pressure dropped to 58/32, my pulse was 47. I'll spare some graphic details but basically I had postpartum hemorrhage. I honestly felt like death. It scared me so bad and I think I'm still recovering from the shock of natural childbirth and the emotions of having that complication. I know it could have been much worse. I am just so grateful I had people around me who worked so hard to take care of me. Poor Chad, saw things that I'm pretty sure he wishes he could forget.

Anyway, I am so unbelievably grateful this little guy is here (and two days early!) It still took us a couple hours to decide that Eli would be his first name. It took until an hour before we left for home to decide Holt for his middle name.

Now, for some pictures....