day dreaming.....

(I wish the above pictures were of my garden.

someday.....)

Lately I've been day dreaming alot! Maybe because of the gorgeous weather we've been having. I get to sit on my front porch and stare at my garden while my kids play. I know, exciting right? It's funny because I really couldn't be happier. Anyway.....as I'm sitting on my porch looking out across my yard I day dream of having this beautiful garden not only filled with fruits and veggies but decorated with pretty flowers. I have been having such a strong urge to grow flowers! I really think it's just because it's spring and I'm having so much fun watching my garden grow, but it's so much fun to think about. I have some seed catalogs and websites that I frequent a lot and I've been looking into all different types of flowers. There are so many I want to grow them all! I picture in my head my garden being a quiet little sanctuary that I can sit in and enjoy while nature grows all around me. (I know, I surprise myself sometimes with the thoughts I'm having) I know it'll take time to get it just the way I want and I probably won't start any flowers until late summer but it's fun to think about. Here are just a few that I've looked at so far!

enjoying the weather....finally!!

After almost an eternity (ok, so not even two weeks) of freezing weather we were finally blessed with some great weather here, it feels like spring and I LOVE it!

While my parents were here visiting we put my dad to work. Chad helped my Dad put the fence around my garden so Miss Dolly would stop running through my garden boxes. I'm loving it!

I am so excited for our garden this time. So far I've planted carrots, tomatoes, jalapenos, tomatillos, broccoli, cauliflower, green peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, peas, cilantro, basil, oregano, parsley, two different kinds of lettuce, spinich and blackberries. We are still going to plant corn, watermelon and pumpkins. I am so excited to see how much we actually get from all this planting. Little green sprouts are starting to come up and I love it. It really amazes me how easy it can be that even I can grow stuff!

Give my kids a pile of dirt covered with a tarp and you have two HAPPY kids!

The whole garden. I love how I can look out into the pasture while I'm out there. It's so peaceful. I never dreamed I'd love it so much!

It's too bad that within a couple months these pretty purple flowers will turn into nasty little thorns!

We have been LOVING this weather. It's probably not too long before it gets too HOT here!

One of the many chew toys that Dolly has found around our place. We're not sure what kind of animal it came from. (hopefully not another dog)

In no particular order......

Pictures from the past month or so.....

Chad found this monstrosity in the water trough. It was pretty docile because it was so cold. He's kinda cute! My kids however didn't think so, which surprised me because Carly is usually all over stuff like this!

(Yes, I'm holding the frog in my living room)

Carly, desperately trying to eat the snow off of her mitten.

Below are all the pictures of the guesthouse.

Miss Dolly

My first crochet project. It took forever but it was a great learning experience!

I haven't blogged much recently for two reasons;

1- I haven't really had much to blog about

2- Our laptop got a virus (so we think) so I've been stuck using our old computer that thinks it needs to restart itself ever 1 1/2 hours. Plus, I don't want to upload new pictures to our old computer. (thus the reason for the old, goofy picture of Carly)

January was pretty much full of nothing. I think after the holiday's and not feeling well I just didn't have motivation to do much. Plus, I'm a baby and I hate any weather that is below 45 degrees. (I would probably go insane if I lived in a cold climate)

Like previously blogged we've almost finished the guesthouse.

We've started on our newer version of a garden. I'm going with garden boxes now for most everything. I am really excited. We had so really good dirt delivered to fill the boxes so Hopefully I can start planting within the next week or so. Along with the veggies were going to grow some watermelon, pumpkins and some corn. We'll see how it turns out!

My parents are coming to visit this Wednesday and I'm so excited. I haven't mentioned it to Carly or Sam so it'll be a big surprise for them. Hopefully our weather is decent for them!

Anyway, that is pretty much it. I still can't believe it's already February but I am glad. I am so ready for spring to come!

curing boredom.....

guest house pictures

This one is out of order. This is an after shot. The walls are all painted and were moving furniture back in.

Before

my mom just e-mailed me this picture she took when she visited.

After
It just lookes cleaner and fresher. We still need to do something to the floors in the kitchen and living area. For now, there is just primer on the floor.

This kid makes me laugh. He always sleeps in the weirdest positions.

We haven't been up to much around here. (reason for all the pictures of us in our house)
It's been cold (at least for me, I know I'm a baby when it comes to cold weather, in fear of embarrassment I'm not going to say how "cold" it's been because most of you would probably laugh in my face.) Anyway, it's been to cold for me to want to do any projects outside. Hopefully soon, I will get the motivation to start work on our garden again. Our last garden gave us some radishes, carrots, lettuce and spinach. We sort of gave up on it and destroyed it. We're going to start fresh. We bought some wood to make about 6 planter boxes and then we'll plant watermelon, pumpkins, and some corn in the ground. I still have no idea what I'm doing and I know we'll make mistakes this time around too but hopefully we'll have learned from our last mistakes and move on!
We have been working on our guesthouse. Chad mostly. We had carpet put in the bedrooms on Tuesday. It's exciting to see the progress. I am still mad I didn't get a before picture of the whole thing. But I will get pictures soon.

Carly's world part 2

The pictures below are pictures from my phone

not much going on.....

Love this!


Seriously? Where did they come from?
I love how they both picked out what they wanted to wear today and they both picked green.

Work on our guesthouse has begun. It began a couple weeks ago when Chad and Andy primed pretty much every square inch of the place. There was a nasty smell so we figured the primer would hide the smell. Unfortunately, the smell still lingered. We then found out that there was a small gas leak which was the cause. We had it fixed and now it just smells like paint. We have painted the trim and all the walls.

Next on our list is the floors.

It still needs a lot of little things done with it but at least with the paint and floors done it will be livable and "craftable" (one of the bedrooms is going to be my craft room.)

For now, there is no water heater and the shower is pretty nasty...but....the toilet works and there is running water.

It's not much but it's nice to have the extra space for people to stay.

(next month to be exact when my parents come to visit! Hooray!)

hmmmm....maybe this is why I haven't made or done a single thing in the crafty world recently.

Seriously?

How does it get this bad?

I'm too busy to put things away, I have no space to put all this stuff.

(sad part, there is a huge table in our big shed that is just as messy and cluttered as this one!)

In reality, this happened because I'm too lazy to put anything away,

Soon though, like mentioned above, as soon as the guesthouse has carpet all this crap will be out of our bedroom for good.

I think Chad is more happy about it than I am. (no, I am pretty darn excited to have my own crafty room. I'm making no guarantees that that room will stay clean.)

*p.s. I can't wait to paint our bedroom too, I've had about enough of the red walls! All in good time though.

Mommy talk....

I'm not pregnant.

I just thought I'd get that out there since EVERYONE around me seems to be. No, I'm not bitter (okay, maybe just a tad) I guess the more proper word to describe the feeling is sad (okay and maybe a little jealous ,I'm trying to be honest here.) Don't get me wrong. I am so happy for all these people around me that are having babies. I really am!
I always thought I had a plan. We planned on Carly and I planned that three years later we'd try for a second.
Oops....15 months later we found out about Sam. I embraced the fact that things didn't go according to plan. We had Sam. We love him. We (or maybe just I) thought two years apart isn't bad. So, we tried again when Sam was 15 months old.

Not pregnant.

Not pregnant again.

and again.

Now, Sam will be three in May. THREE!

Still NOT pregnant.

I'm not sure how to embrace it this time. The fact that I'm not in control. It's quite exhausting! I don't know how people do it, when they don't already have kids. I love my kids, they are happy, healthy, active and they love me. But nothing is quite as bad as wanting another child and not being able to get it. I thought for a while "Do I really want another child, or just another baby? " We all know that babies grow up to be 2 year olds, and so on and so on. The answer came back that I wanted another Child. I want another spirit in this family to raise up on this earth, to love and laugh with, to cry with (and sometimes even cry because of it)
Every month it's the same. I start off thinking it's okay. I'm okay with two kids (although deep, but not too deep, down inside I'm really thinking the opposite)
Then the next phase of the month comes where I really think I've come to terms with it. I really feel happy and okay with the two I've been blessed with.
Then phase three. I find myself hoping that phase four doesn't happen.
Then phase four comes. I'm officially not pregnant. Honestly, my heart breaks every time.

I have learned some things from this little experience we are going through...
*I am not in control. (okay, I still might be working on this one) But, i have a better understanding of who is really in control.
*Patience (okay, I'm still working on this one too)
*Appreciating Carly and Sam. Without them I wouldn't be a mother. I've really been able to focus on the fact that they are truly children of God. They are just on loan to me to raise on this earth. They truly are blessings and I can never and should never take them for granted.
*Dealing with my emotions. (okay, this one is on my list of things to do. I still don't do this one very well)
*I should pray to have peace of mind and the ability to handle certain situations rather than just praying that I get pregnant.
*Things really do happen for a reason. If we'd had a baby when we originally planned. I would have a 7 or 8 month old. We may have never bought this house because it has only two bedrooms. (and honestly, I love this house and our land!) Maybe subconsciously my body is not allowing itself to get pregnant until we add more bedrooms??? (okay, it probably doesn't work that way but trust me, I've thought of every scenario as to why it hasn't happened)

So, all in all, I guess what I'm trying to say is.....well, I'm not really sure. I just need to get things off my chest. Out in the open. I will probably still hope and pray for another. I will also hope and pray that I will be okay if this is all that is in store for our little family. Life will go on. I HAVE been blessed to be a mother and I am grateful for that!!

It's a new year.....

and I'm already behind.

2011. It sounds weird to say. Wasn't it just the year 2000 like 3 years ago?

I made resolutions this year. I always do. Do I keep those resolutions? Probably not. I need to make a resolution to keep my resolutions.

I didn't make many, mostly because If I make too many I'm bound to keep none of them. That is just how I roll. If I get too overwhelmed I shut down. I'm glad I finally learned that about myself. I keep a journal. That is usually where I write my resolutions and goals. Considering the fact that no one reads my journal (I think, I hope) it gives me zero motivation to keep my resolutions. I have nothing holding me to it. Just the thought of someone knowing my goals is enough for me to actually try and stick to them. Here goes:

*spend more time with my kids and ENJOY it.

*read the scriptures EVERY DAY!

* Pray every day. Not just for the sake of praying, but actually praying and communicating with the one who is in charge of my life and all that is in it!

* be honest (not like I'm a liar or anything but more just being honest with myself and about my feelings. If that makes any sense. It does to me.)

* ENJOY my calling in church. Sunbeams teacher. (I may need reminders with that one.)

*Focus on what is going on at the moment and not what I did or didn't do in the past.

There. I said it. It's done.

Happy New Year!

Yes, a firework went off a little too early. Scared the crap out of me but it made a cool picture!